May
17
I HATE having Type 1 Diabetes
Filed Under Uncategorized
Did I ever mention how much I hate, how much I loathe, how much I despise having Type 1 Diabetes?
Before I go any further, for those who don’t know there are two types of Diabetes Mellitus: Type 1 Juvenile-Onset and Type 2 Adult-Onset. Type 1 is generally defined by the body’s inability to produce insulin, hence the need for testing blood glucose levels throughout the day and taking insulin shots. I have Type 1, which I treat with an insulin pump. The pump has a sub-cutaneous (or location under the skin) inset that I change every 3 days. The inset allows insunlin to flow from the pump unit into the body via the inset. Type 2 diabetes is characterized by the body’s inability to produce enough insulin. Those with Type 2 must follow a careful diet and in some cases take oral medicine (ie. Glucophage) to help regulate proper insulin levels. No shots are required unless you do not follow your doctor’s treatment guidelines.
No matter what type you have, IT SUCKS.
The thing that always upsets me is the unwanted additional stress it adds to my day. Here are a few examples:
1). It’s 1:00 PM and I have to get to a meeting by 1:30, so I need to have a quick lunch. After testing my blood sugar, I see that I am running high: 260. As a result, I have to give myself a bolus (or dosage of insulin) to bring my blood sugar back down into the 70-150 “safe” range. The problem is, my body takes time to absord the insulin and process the sugar. This means that I will have to wait about a 1/2 hour before eating. Unfortunately, my meeting is in a half hour, so I either have to be rude and bring food with me to the meeting, be late to the meeting, or find time after the meeting to have food. The tricky part is that I will have to give myself enough insulin to lower my blood sugar, but not too much that I have an insulin reaction, in which case I would unconditionally need to eat something with sugar in it to boost glucose levels in the blood. This is stressful because all I want to do is eat lunch and go, just like anyone else. Instead, lunch time becomes a science experiment.
2) I’m having one of those days when nothing seems to go right, and decide to sit down and relax behind the TV. In my haste and anger, I overdosed on insulin at dinnertime and suddenly feel a “low” ( or insulin reaction, hypoglycemia) coming on. When this happens, I feel shakey, dizzy, see stars, and generally appear to be drunk and disoriented. Pyschologically I feel “out of it”, and act absent to my surroundings. So, my shitty day just had one more stressful event added to it, an event which left untreated can be life threatening. Yet again, Diabetes compounds life’s troubles and ruins my relaxation time.
3) My friend and I plan to go out in the afternoon and walk around town. Our plan is to walk for an hour and then find a Cafe for a late lunch/snack. After meeting my friend at 3 PM, we walk for about an hour, and then happen to meet some co-workers who are going to hike around the city park. My friend says I should come along and be spontaneous. Unfortunately, I can’t be spontaneous with Diabetes, especially when it comes to unplanned exercise, because I already planned for a lite meal and insulin dose. I can’t just start hiking instantly, because I risk getting an insulin reaction caused by the sudden excercise. As a result, I have to either delay all my friends while I eat a meal before hiking, or simply not go because I have to stop off at a restaraunt or supermarket to get food. What would otherwise be a pleasant surprise in my day turns into a big production because I have to manage my Diabetes first.
Based off these examples, I think you get the general idea. Diabetes compounds stressful days, locks me into schedules, doesn’t allow me to be spontaneous, and also embarasses me in the bedroom.
Attractive Girl: What’s that weird bandage near your stomach?
Me: It’s my inset… it is a device used to put insulin in my body because I’m diabetic.
Attractive Girl: My grandpa has diabetes, but he doesn’t have that.
Me: Your grandpa probaly has Type 2 diabetes. I have Type 1, which requires me to regulate my food and insulin intake.
Attractive Girl: Why don’t you take shots?
Me: That’s why I use the pump - Instead of taking shots I allow the insulin pump to give me a constant dosage of insulin to keep my sugar levels in check.
( INTIMATE MOMENT RUINED BY SCIENCE LESSON )
It wouldn’t be a big deal if I was having sex every weekend, but the fact is I almost never have a girl in my apartment. When I do, I want it to be special, but no matter what Diabetes rears its ugly head.
Type 1 diabetes also affects my sexual performance: If my blood sugar is too low or too high, I can’t climax, or in some cases simply need to stop having sex because the unplanned “exercise” requires that I drink some Gatorade to get sugar in me so I can return to my partner. Yet again, Diabetes ruins an otherwise good moment.
I think with time and a more active sexual life, I will find ways to get around the Diabetic pitfalls, but for now, it really gets in the way and takes the excitement out of a romantic encounter.
Most of all, I get stressed out by having to live such a regimented schedule and constantly needing to check my sugar level.
If I was stranded in the woods for a week or kidnapped by captors who did not have insulin, I would be comatose within 5-7 days, and probably dead within 14 days. If I happened to be rescued on day 10 or 12, the period of hyperglycemia during my captivity could mean I lose my eye sight, have to amputate a limb, or poison my liver.
As a result, I have to be very careful when I travel around Central America, and realize that as a sickly “Gringo” I have to constantly be aware of my surroundings and not put myself in jeopardy.
Aside from this extreme example of how diabetes can fuck things up, it just stresses me out to no end when I want to do a simple thing and my diabetes gets in the way.
What do I want others to say/do? All medical and psychological professionals tell me the same thing: “You can howl at the moon, but your diabetes is not going to disappear”. I HATE THIS RESPONSE. Tell me something I don’t know…
Instead, I want people to understand that I am capable of living a normal life under conditions: that I eat when I want, that I have access to medical care, that I have a supply of insulin pump therapy devices, that I be excused or allowed to not participate in an activity if my Diabetes is acting up, that I have to live on some semblance of a schedule or otherwise dictate a schedule to others if I am out in a social situation.
Most of all, I want understanding and respect that I didn’t choose nor create this disease for myself, I just got it by SHIT LUCK.
If you know someone with Type 1 Diabetes, give them a break if they bring food to your meeting or have an insulin reaction and need to go to the convenience store for a sugared beverage.
Remember, my pancreas is DEAD - your’s isn’t - and that makes all the difference in the world.
HI I feel you on the diabetic mess. I hate it also. I hate all the shots, check, ups, downs, highs lows and cannot eat this or that. To much of this and that! I hate it too. I have had this dead silent killer for one year. Still not use to it and I am still not excepting it as I have it for the rest of my life. I will do all I can to get back my life. I am will to do what ever come my way to be able to make Love out of this world to my Loving husband. I not have to worry if I can make Love and make myself and him happy as we use to do. I will give ll I can to find a way to be my old self. To leave this life as what I have become is really getting me down so low I can not even speak of it never to talk to anyone about it. I am very tried. And for any one who says they are living with it and have excepted it they are telling a lie. I will fight with all my might to be my old self. Until the day when it wins and takes my life….
I’ve had type one for almost 7 years now and you know what gets me the most? When people say, “You can’t have that!” or “Are you sure you can eat that? I don’t think so!” I feel like punching them in the face. Yeah, I know I don’t eat as healthy as I should, but hello I’m still a teenager. It just makes me have no respect for them, because they have no respect for me to make my own decisions. And it makes them look extremely ignorant in my eyes, because after all, I’M the one who has this, I’M the one who has to live with this, NOT them. I know they “care” about me, but when you barely even know me, don’t tell me what I can and cannot eat. It drives me crazy. But diabetes is pretty much…terrible. The End.
The thing about Type 1 Diabetes that’s so frustrating for me seems to be the ever constant tediousness of it. It has got to be one of the most tedious of most common serious conditions/diseases, most of which involve therapy that is constituted by taking pills, or even other more complicated procedural functions, at a much lower frequency. Honestly, your subconscious becomes effected… for me, I can’t ever feel truly, TRULY, relaxed and normal. There is a constant threat that your entire body’s and mind’s state of being are going to be thrown out of whack in the short term, often simultaneously adding to a growing tab of longterm damage that could end up with your eyes gone, foot gone, dick not working as well, etc. etc. etc.
Even on a good day, when I have seemingly tight control, I can’t help but have an ever present conscious/unconscious fixation on when my sugar is going to go too high or too low.
I’ve had this for over six years and I’m still so bugged when people tell me I can’t eat something. While I appreciate the concern, I can’t help but feel almost insulted at the same time. A diabetic can theoretically eat anything, as long as they take the proper measures, which for certain foods involve more than others. Regardless, I have this disease, I know what I have to do, and in almost all cases, have taken the proper measures. Thus, I am bugged.
My doctor’s have always told me I have remarkably good control of my Diabetes. The saddest thing about this is the fact that my life STILL feels SO FAR from “normal” that it’s just discouraging sometimes. (”Is THIS as good as it gets?”) The truth is no, because you can always be tighter, but it’s just exhausting frankly. (Random info: I actually don’t use a pump system, but am becoming more and more open to the idea).
Travel is so much harder, I feel you there, so much more to think about. Vacation can become worse than the everyday grind since the risks become much more numerous and and more probable.
Just grow me a working pancreas already, and stick that shit in me! Hahahaha…. If only that statement was even halfway legitimate.
Has anyone ever caught themselves wishing “If only I had asthma, or ADHD, or (semi-comparable life-changing condition besides Type 1 Diabetes).
It’s fucked up, but I went through this still even after three or four years, and it’s only now beginning to disappear.
Interestingly enough, after getting diabetes is when I got more involved in electronic music production. I’ve had about six years delving into that too. (Check website for a myspace music profile (still under construction).
Glad to have found an online vent for this stuff. Leave a post for email, if desired, hopefully I can get back to you.
I got to your website by just typing the words “i hate type one diabetes.” That’s the kind of day I’m having and it made me feel better to read what you had to say. God! And I totally understand the ruining an intimate convo with a science lecture! For once, I just want to go out with a guy and not have it come up! Just once.
Feel free to email. I am always looking for people to vent with.
I hate diabetes!!!!
This shit sucks, I’ve had it since I was 2. I’m 20 now. But the worst part is, I can’t join the marines and get some with the rest of those lucky bastards out there in iraq and afghanistan, fuck man, fucken bullshit right? Oh, and also I gotta worry about the day when I can’t get wood no more cause of the fuckin complications, so I gotta stay on top of this shit like a motherfucker, can’t have me out here knockin on skirts with a limp dick right? But I’m hangin in over here, I aint gone yet, not for awhile.
Yeah it’s fucked. It’s 1:18am and I’m awake because I had a low whilst sleeping and can’t get back to sleep. The hardest time for me is when I have final exams each semester. What is already an intensely stressful time is made lot worse tring to manage this other shit. Your scenario with the meeting happened to me last semester, but instead of a meeting I had my final for advanced mathematical economics. I opted for having a little bit of insulin without food so I wouldn’t be so high. Half way through the exam I got sweaty and shaky and wasn’t sure if it was a low or just the stress. Ended up being at 2 (i.e. approx 40 for those in the US). The moral of the story, diabetes is fucked. It makes normal activities stressful, and stressful activities really fucking stressful.
I’m right there with you man. I’ve been diabetic for 18 1/2 years. I was diagnosed at age 3 and my first memory is at the dr’s watching my parents learn to give injections. I hate juvenile diabetes.
I am really happy to know that I am not a freak for contemplating worst case scenario events (ie, kidnapping, hurricane knocking the power out and flooding the city), and being horribly aware of what my fate would be soon thereafter. I’m in college and I work as a server in a restaurant. Only diabetics can understand the worst feeling in the world, when you’re trying to do your job (in my case turn customers through tables, and serve politely and provide an excellent dining experience), and you feel the severe low coming on where you need to drop everything and chug down some orange juice.
The american disabilities act helps, but my boss expects me to be able to fly back out onto the floor right after I get some sugar, which you know, is really not possible.
I’m sorry you all have this disease too, it does suck. I want to be sporadic and go on random travels, but not only am I always tight for $ (strips, iv sets, continuous glucose monitor sensors, insulin, needles, etc..), I don’t trust the common stranger to recognize a low blood sugar and not assume I’m a belligerent drunk.
I’ve played guitar and other instruments all of my life and i STILL get pissed off when one of my fingers gets sore from being stuck so many times, and I try to hold down a chord and it’s sore. It’s not unbearable, but just enough to make the reality of diabetes to slap you in the face.
my top 3 diabetes bummers of the last month..
1) my pump iv came out while I was sleeping. I woke up at 9 to be in class (for a test) at 10. My blood sugar was 340 and I felt like absolute shit. I no longer tell my professors that I am diabetic unless I HAVE to miss for a sick day because I was discriminated against in my freshman year by a professor. So, I gave a quick injection of fast acting insulin, got a new iv hooked up and started to school, side effects and all. about half way there I was DYING of thirst. I pulled through chick-fil-a and bought an XL diet lemonade-no ice. When the kid at the window handed it to me i did the customary “you’re sure this is diet right?” after i was assured it was i pulled into a parking spot and chugged. I couldn’t stop- I hate those high blood sugar thirsts, nothing quenches it. Anyway, the lemonade tasted great…too great. It was regular lemonade. I didn’t know at first but right after I started driving I had to pull over and was completely out of it..I had a friend come get me and checked my sugar. the monitor just said ‘high’ and I was sick ALL day, missed my class, had a bad low later in the day due to over treatment of the high. When I called their corporate office to file a complaint, they apologized and sent me a coupon for a milkshake. sent a DIABETIC a coupon for a MILKSHAKE.
those fuckers.
2)Passed out while cooking dinner with a friend. you know who you’re real friends are when they let you spit up red kool-aid on their jeans while they try and get you to swallow. still, very embarrassing.
3)was in a music store checking out some guitars. My Iv tube was sticking out of my pocket and got caught on a hanger in the wall. pulled out IV and had to have ‘assistance’ to untangle my cording from the wall. extra points for having to give a science lesson to the sam ash associate.
you don’t get used to being diabetic, even if you can’t remember ever living normally. you just go on in the hope that some day a cure will alleviate all of this unwanted stress.
Hi EM,
Thanks for your comments - everything you say is absolutely true.
If all else fails, remind people about the Disabilities acts, AND also that you have Type 1 diabetes.
I say this because when you tell someone “I have diabetes”, they automatically think of some old person in those Type 2 commercials that needs to eat better and take a pill. Nothing could be further from the truth for those with Type 1.
Ignorance is extremely frustrating, and yes, I still worry about catastrophic events occuring in my life because I know that soon after, Type 1 would probably give me a miserable, extremely high blod suger, shitty death.
i have had diabities type one for a year now and i hate it so much sometimes it really gets me down all me mates are going out doing wot ever the fuck they want and if i even have a drink to many or a fucking extra sandwich at dinner i worry my ass of thinkin should i check me sugars ohh no i need to keep my sugars low fuck this pancreas i might just cut it out and be done with all this shit
fuck diabities
Well I ma new to the whole type 1 diabetes thing I am 43 years old and was told one week and 3 days ago that I have type 1 diabetes. I felt like I was in Charlie Browns’s classroom ( you know the whole muh muh ma muh). I could hear him say the words but I was not able to comprehend them. I also have Thryoid issure and am taking Synthoid. Most of the symtoms I had were signs that I might be taking too much Synthroid…. So long story short my Dr called me and said my A1c score was 14.5 and tyhat I needed to get in to his office ASAP and learn how to be a type 1 diabetic. I have to hear (from EVERYONE) you cant have type 1 thats for kids. Adults dont get type 1 you have to have miss heard your Dr. I was eating a half gallon of ice cream a day and still dropping weight like crazy. I was drinking 10 -12 Diet Cokes a day nad countless bottles of water. Now the only positive I can find is I am not drinking so much. I am going to be a first time Grandmother in 3 months and am freaking out that I am going to not be around to watch my grandchild grow up. I used to be such a high energy person and now it is all I can do to make it through the day. I am a chef….. I cant even eat my own food. THe other day I was at a clients home and made chocolate pudding and the smell was amazing and out of habit I grabbed a tasting sppon and was about to taste and rememberd I am a diabetic!!!! My great grand father and Uncle both had type 1 diabetes and were diagnosed as adults. Both died from diabetes. I used to worry about getting a grey hair now I just worry about keeping my feet.
I cant imaging you fellow type 1 diabetics that were diagnosed as young children. I dont know what worse missing things I used to be able to enjoy or never having the experience(thus not missing them in the same fashion). Oh and I can already appreciate the ignorant people. Like I said I am a chef and I told one client and they sadi well maybe we should take a break from your services and give you a chance to “feel better”. She then followed it up with are you going to have to pricxk your finger and give yourself shots? Is that safe for you to cook? UGH!!! I feel overwhelmed at times because it is too much to deal with and so much to learn. I hear you guys saying you would do anything to have your :old self” back I look at things around my house that I once loved and have the urge t osmash them to bits. I feel angry and sad and depressed. I am not used to giving myself shots (yet) and have major brusing. I guess o nthat part I am glad I am old and not overly concerned about a swim suit body. I am thankful for a very supportive husband and son. Of course they have both had their sugar tested. My son (an only child) had started to call me every morning to check on me so that is a positive. I love to hear from him and he needs to know that I am doing everything as the Dr. ordered. EXCEPT… Last night I was tired and fell asleep reading and did not take my evening shot and have been paying the price all day. Life for me changed in an instant with a phone call. 10 days of living hell and I cant imagine the rest of my life. I feel guilty for feeling so bad after reading other posts about people living with diabetes since they were 3 and having had it fo so many years. Please, those of you who have had diabetes for a while I welcome some advise and lie to me if you have to but someone tell me that it gets easier and I will adapt and get better at the shots and the blood tests. Well as you can imagine my fingers hurt from typing so much and oh its about time to test my blood and take my special vitimins and eat my special diabetic food as my family eats my cooking… Did I mention that I am a freaking chef and cant even eat my own food!!!
Omg i know how everyone fucking feels!! I was diagnosed about 4 months ago and ever since then i’ve been just stressed. Especially with my health problems, whenever i see anything abnormal on my body or feel weird i say to myself “thats it, i’ve got something horrible” Being diagnosed freaked me out and opened my eyers to all the other horrible diseases out there and how easy it is to get them. Also i’m only 16, which is the age when kids get high and get drunk, and i can’t do either of those! My friends are pretty great about not asking me about diabetes but god! my teachers, family, basically any adult figure in my life will not leave me alone abnout it! And then of course whenever i meet someone new and we’re talking and we go to eat or something i have to whip out my kit and then it just turns into a pity party! It’s like wtf, i didn’t ask nor want your sympathy i just want to be viewed as a normal kid. I mean my parents won’t even let me spend the night at my friends houses because they are afraid i’m going to go low. And now the summer is coming up, who knows how many times i’ll be forced to stop doing something fun to check my blood sugar or shoot up. Oh god, and i’m not looking forward to getting out of my honeymoon phase, i have a hard time controlling it now. The future held so many opportunities for me, and now they are mostly gone. Thanks diabetes, you are the fucking best. All i hope for everynight is a cure, please tlet there be a cure soon.
I need your help
Iam 40 years ,have diabetes 7 years ago ,since 3 years i use insulin,my problem now is that my sugar never good either too high or too low also that happenes in short time.
Iam very deppressed, plz. give me a solution.
Thanx a lot
Hi Hamzal,
If you live in the USA, you might want to ask your doctor about using an insulin pump. These are made available by many companies, but the one I use is made by http://www.medtronic.com , also known as “Mini-med”.
The latest version of the pump can monitor your sugar levels and coordinate an appropriate amount of insulin for your body. It does this automatically.
I don’t use this version yet, but even the older version I use is still very helpful.
Hope this helps!
hi guys
trust me i am diabetic for more than 2 years and absolutely hate it when people around me ask me million ? as to r u sure u can eat this when i go out for dinner or even when i can’t enjoy a drink as well because of the stress i don’t feel like going out anywhere and even my gf left me because i am diabetic and i hate it absolutely and feel like killing myself and i hate myself
I just googled “fuck diabetes”. I had a complete meltdown today. I can’t take this anymore. I’ve had type 1 diabetes for 23 years now, I got it when I was 4. I get really depressed sometimes, and I mostly blame my depression on my diabetes, because no matter what I do, and how hard I try, it’s always there. Why do I even bother anymore? I can’t take the stress… I can’t seem to cope with everyday life and diabetes combined. Why do I even bother going to school, and trying to get my life together, if I’m just going to get complications any moment now? Then I find out that my insulin can cause cancer. The insulin that I’ve been injecting myself twice a day for the last 8 years or so, is carcinogenic. And the world just keeps turning.
I’m just so fucking mad right now. I want to scream at the top of my lungs! The pharmaceutical companies have no interest in curing diabetes. why cure when they can squeeze all that money for “treatment”? WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! Those companies spend more money on over-the-counter cold medication than they spend on researching and developing cures for diseases that are “treatable”. They have the knowledge, and they have the technology. Forget it. Even if they do find a cure in my life time, it’d be too late for me. The damage is done. My eyesight will be gone, so will my legs, my kidneys, my heart. Maybe I’ll have cancer too.
Sometimes, I just want to overdose on insulin on purpose. Sometimes, a coma, doesn’t sound like a bad option. At least I’ll get some well-needed sleep until someone pulls the plug.
If only I didn’t have people in my life that cared about me…
Sorry for this depressing comment. I’m at the end of my rope.
Hey Maya, I can totally relate to the frustration you feel. It’s been 4 and a half years since I’ve been diagnosed with type 1 (It’ll be 5 years on my birthday).
What I’m so sick of hearing is that the cure is coming in the near future. They keep feeding this bullshit to new patients to give them a false sense of hope.
It was far worse when I was on the injections, but being on the pump is easier. However, it’s a constant reminder that I’m not “normal”. The things I’d do just to have a working, insulin-producing pancreas…
I no longer play the sport I love, and I probably never will. It was my life, and not being able to partake makes me feel worthless.
I feel like the cruel experimentation of a demented creature. Fuck you diabetes, and fuck you God!!!!!!!!!!!
hello my life changing moment began in the 1970s.being hard on yourself or blaming diabetes wont help.it actually makes things alot worse.i have my ups and downs but always bounce back and fight.type1 diabetes is a handful and quite bothersome but can be controlled and things can be alot worse,have you ever saw a human with cystic fybrosis?you will be glad that you only have to check your sugars and eat when you need to.dont let medical personel get you down,they probably dont have diabetes and just get vague information at best to help you.diabetes made me quite the tough unique individual and wouldnt change it even though its a very hard job.
yeah , i hear you bro. i got type one diabetes for almost 2 years now and im 15.. so i can’t even do normal thing like go to the beach with friend, go to the town pool and other activities without knowin in advance. ontop of that i have celiac disease so i cann’t eat anything with wheat in it. so i can’t even stop anywhere and eat or drink anything to get my bloodsugar up i need to buy special foods. life sucks what are you gonna do .. you tell people about it that understand and you leave others wondering. people are so dumb that they cannot even understand you and they think its ur fault , these people you tell to fuck off and u move on, well all in all this article relates to me 100% and i understand
Someone said to me today “I’d rather have HIV than be diabetic”. Some people are super insensitive. Saying that to a diabetic wtf?
Hi Anonymous,
That IS a horrible thing to say, for both a sufferer of diabetes or HIV.
Diabetes is shit. I hate it. But it’s not necessarily a death sentence. I actually find my mental illness more difficult than diabetes, although diabetes definitely stresses me out sometimes.
Ask that person to walk a mile in your shoes (even 400 yards) and they probably would regret their words.
ughh, i know how you all feel.. i have had type one diabetes since 5th grade. Now I’m a freshman in high school, and a lot of my friends have parties every weekend and get drunk then they’re telling me they’re stories, I HATE IT, because i will never be able to do that.. i have been trying to find ways around it. but it is just so frustrating. People are always saying diabetes can’t stop you from doing anything you want to do.. um yes it does!! ugh.. even when i’m in college i will have to test my blood sugar, and give a bolus. You know what bugs me the most? when people are totally clueless to what diabetes is. and theyre like what is that? and i have to explain. it’s an insulin pump.. blah blah blah, For me, it’s really irritating because i hate explaining it because then it kinda reminds me what i have to deal with, and i HATE IT.
FUCK THIS TYPE 1 DIABETES BULL-FUCKING-SHIT
Its 2:30. Im drunk as. Just checked my bloods nd its on like 20.0 . I live in NZ so dont rly know what that is in american numbers but its fucken shit in nz. Man, diabetes is fucken gay. Rite now im sriously thinkin im not living past 30… Which fucken sucks.
SO, live for the moment!
Take what u can when u can!
I’m 17 now and even tho i have type 1 diabetes i try not to let it control my life… even tho it does sometimes. Fuck it.
Drink more piss, smoke more weed, take what life gives to you.
Honestly, when i look back on my life I’m goin 2 b proud that i did what i did, cos i know that even though my life was short, it was sweet.
Love friends, love family, love life.
Drink more piss, rastafarianism, Peace.
Sammy!!!
Seriously, just get drunk.
You won’t regret it.
Forget about having diabetes, I do when i go out.
It’l be the best decision of your life.
Trust me.
(haha whos gunna trust a random on the internet…)
but seriously, u won’t regret it
I am type 1 diabetic. I am alone, no relatives. Few month ago lost my job. So, soon I will have no money to buy insulin ;-). Am I depressed (maybe a bit, but not much I guess).
That will be nice to find someone who can buy me insulin. It is to early to die ;-). Really.
I have type one diabetes too - hate it…maybe you should get one of those clinical trial things - they are working on cures for diabetes and they will test them on you free or even pay you money (to get your diabetes cured!!!) and they actually worked on lotso people.
Diabetes was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I got it a year ago when I was 17 and the most depressing thing about it is you never ever get a break from it. I try so hard to control it but it ends up controlling me. For example, I ate some caramel today, took a huge shot of insulin but I’m still sitting here with sugars over 500 and feeling like total crap. My sugars are either too high or too low and I have nightmares all the time about getting complications. I would give anything in the world to be cured of this stupid never ending disease.
I got out of the hospital last week because it went into diabetic ketoacidocis. According to the doctor, if I had waited much longer I’d be in a coma and probably dead. And the doctors don’t even know if I’m a type one or a type two because I don’t present like a textbook case of either. I guess type twos (which is what I was supposedly diagnosed with from a doctor a few months ago) don’t go into DKA, but if I was a type one I would probably be dead from DKA a long time ago. So now I don’t know what the hell my body is doing, and if that wasn’t enough I left the hospital feeling decently better, but horribly depressed, and with an $18,000 bill. I honestly don’t know how in the hell they expect a college student to pay that. (Thank god for insurance, but it’s still expensive.) Some days are easy, and it doesn’t seem so bad to be diabetic, but I have no idea how in the hell I’m going to live the rest of my life with it. And I’m not looking forward to dying. I feel like I’m playing poker with death and I have a really shitty hand. How do you deal with all of this? Right now, I’m terrified of going into DKA again (god it was painful), or worse, dying. I’m only 21 and I haven’t even begun to actually live, and then I’m diagnosed with this horrible disease. I really needed a place to vent, so to anyone who read this far, thanks for your time, because I know that all our time is far to short.
Hi Fraggle,
Happy to hear that you’re doing better. DKA is a serious condition and is indeed life threatening. I imagine you’ll probably have follow up visits to make sure you stop passing ketones in your urine. Also, I bet the eye doctor will want to take a picture of your eye and make sure you don’t have a retinopathy (non inflammatory damage to your eye).
I was diagnosed on Christmas day when I was 18. My brother was diagnosed when he was 8. It’s a God awful feeling.
I urge you to consider pump therapy if you’re not already on it, and if you’re in College or Trade School, tell your teachers during a quiet moment that sometimes you may have to duck out of class to take care of your blood sugar levels.
If they don’t comply, they can be brought up on charges under the Americans with Disabilities Act, (if you’re in the USA).
Take care…
Hi,
I am 18 and I have had diabetes for a year and a bit now. I hate it! I have never been so depressed in my life. I try to carry on life as though it is normal but its not. I don’t think I will ever be able to controle it!
The worst part is that I can’t dance as career now. I lost alot of weight before I new I had it and can’t seem to put it back on. I constantly have hypo’s and when I don’t Im extreamly high and feel like shit! I do drink when i go out but its always a risk. I either get very low and end up in the meidcal room ( this has happened twice the past month) or I ed up being high and feel awful and go home. I think none of us will be able to get over how bad it can be but we just have to deal with it. I have become so depressed before and ended up over doseing. I have come to realise theres no point. I hate the doctors saying it but don’t let it rule you. I hope there will be a cure. We can only hope.
so i totally understand what everyone is going through. im 15 years old and have had type 1 diabetes since i was 9 months old i dont even remember being diagnosed. being a teenager and having it is the worst possible thing to go through, its the time of sexual activity, drinking and wanting to be free. but for me, i will never be free because ill have this forever. my friends go out every single weekend and get smashed and although i havent been to a party yet due to the fear of getting in trouble because of drinking i will never be able to get drunk like everyone else. ill always be the babysitter and will not get to live a normal teenage life. it sucks so much and i really wish there was a cure, cause hey looks like im sol the rest of my life.
Thank you - it is so great to hear that other people feel EXACTLY the way I do. I’ve had type 1 diabetes for nearly 12 years now (since I was 10) and today I really broke down. Normally I’m fine but it is so incredibly difficult to control and I just hate the fact that it is 24/7.
And that no one understands. Lots of people say “just get over it”, or “at least you don’t have cancer”. Right. Thanks. That helps me when I have a BGL of 25 (I’m Australian) and I feel like shit.
Anyway, I want to write and film a piece about this so anyone interested in helping out please email me at mahalia.traveller@gmail.com
Hi Madeleine,
Thanks for your comment, and also for the idea about making a movie about Type 1 diabetes. Many people don’t understand the disease and believe it’s no different than what an older relative might have, only requiring a Glucophage pill for treatment.
This couldn’t be further from the truth: Type 1 is a royal pain in the ass and the fact that it seemingly appears out of nowhere continues to bewilder me.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for posting your blog. It did me good to read it as well as the responses from others with type 1. Your description of a day in the life was right on. (I was laughing in recognition.) I’m on an insulin pump too and I really fucking HATE IT! It malfunctions, replacing the accessories is tedious, and I can never go anywhere without lugging my plastic pancreas and case kit around like a dolt. Worst of all people gawk at it when it becomes visible and assume it’s okay to make blunt comments at my expense. I feel I’d have more freedom just going back to injections with pens.
I’ve wasted entire days of my life trying to explain to random people asking random and repetitive questions about type 1 and the pump only to grow extremely irritated to the point of snapping. I’ve had people think I’ve been taking drugs or lying about having it because they assumed only corpulent people had diabetes. I’m not good at all with keeping on a tight schedule, so you can tell my control isn’t what you would call perfect. And yes, I’m better off than diabetics in the 1970’s and yes there are worse things to have (in answer to well meaning, but ignorant pals)….but GRRRRRRRRR! As sympathetic as well meaning people are, it just doesn’t click with them. It’s good to know that others who have this can truly understand. Thanks again for the brilliant blog and for making me smile knowing I’m not the only one!
I’ve wanted for so long to read a person who has a struggle comparable to mine, where the struggle to survive intensifies to an extreme that no person without diabetes would ever know. Thank you so much for the insight to your struggle. I was only diagnosed with type-1 2 years ago (tomorrow actually) but it’s made my life a living hell. I was diagnosed my last semester of college and consequently lost my health benefits at the same time (turned 25). I ended up moving in with my parents to support my medical needs. Since the economy sucks, I haven’t been able to find a job with my bachelor’s degree, so I’m 25 living with my parents, struggling with diabetes daily (injections because I can’t afford a pump), working 35 hours a week and going to school again, and hating every minute. It literally has become a struggle for survival for me. To top it all off, my job requires a very stressful amount of work (broil cook at Applebees), so I’m literally drinking 2 liters of applejuice per day to keep my blood sugars up at night while I work.
If there’s one person that all type-1s need to get behind right now, it’s Dr. Denise Faustman at Mass General hospital in Boston. She definitely has one of the top studies being conducted toward developing a cure for us (and she’s in phase 2 of the study!).
Anyway, that sort of thing gives me hope. Until the cure comes, I’ve resolved to taking vitamin d3 and calcium to strengthen my immune system, and I keep moving forward. No matter what. Just keep moving forward.
Thanks again for your account.
K
Hey guys i also have type 1 diabeties is it better to use a pump or to keep injecting with a normal pen?
i also hate it because it retricts so many thing that you cannot do like other normal people.
Hi Toby,
Thanks for your comment. In my opinion, pump therapy is probably the best way to go. In the past (meaning 8-9 years ago) when I was first introduced to Humalog (fast acting) insulin, I used a pen, too.
Now that I´ve had the pump, I´ll never go back. It helps keep you even keeled throughout the day, and you´ll notice your A1C numbers will improve.
Ok Thank you for the advice i will see if i can get a pump sorted out
Hey it me again with a pump if you do not eat like waking up late or something would the insulin put u into a hypo and may even worse because you would be as leep and not aware of it?
Thank you everyone that has put anything on here i have read through it and feel much better that it aint just me that is high all the time or if im not high im really low and always feeling like shit.
Hi Toby,
If you oversleep you won’t necessarily have a hypoglycemic episode.
The pump gives its users 2 infusions of insulin: 1)A “Bolus”, or dose you take when you’re about to eat a meal, and 2) A “Basal Rate”, which is a constant, but much lower infusion of insulin throughout the day, typically higher after scheduled meal times. Insulin flows automatically into your body, and in most cases there is no need to interupt the flow manually.
If you oversleep by an hour or so, you may not go low unless you went off to bed on the low side. If, however, you oversleep by 2 or 3 hours, you may find yourself waking up low simply because your Basal rate has been supplying insulin while you were sleeping.
Many pumps offer what are known as “pattern” settings. Patterns allow you to adjust insulin dosages based on your foreseen daily schedule. For example, for Monday through Friday, you would use a standard pattern, while on the weekends you could set your pump to allow you to sleep in.
Another great feature of Medtronic MiniMed pumps is a sugar monitoring device that automatically tells your pump your BG level. It requires an extra injection site on your body (but is not a permanent fixture, you just change it yourself every 3 days). This is especially helpful when you’re learning the pump, or if you are having a bad week with your diabetes.
The best advice is to ask your endocrineologist for more information. They can set you up with a Rx for the pump and a short training course. After that - as with any Type 1 treatment - it’s up to you to maintain your sugars in a safe range.
Good Luck!
I got cha!
Same thing,….I hate it too,…..I hate it when people say”I’m so sorry”,…like u just told them someone died!
Or “U dont look like a diabetic”….what the hell does one look like?
My Boy has it and watching him have a hypo or a brain seizure due to a fast hypo Sucks
Hi Sam,
Wow - a brain seizure due to a hypoglycemic reaction is very serious. Is he on an insulin pump or taking shots?
If he’s on shots, you want to consider some insulin that isn’t fast acting. Examples: Lenti, Ulta-Lenti, etc. that give people a baseline insulin level throughout the day without pushing them too far down.
If he has the pump, definitely review the basal rates and bolus dosages with your doctor. They are probably too high. A slight adjustment will do the trick.
Every monday at this time i go low what should i do with my long term injection i normally take a 22 of levemer. Should i put it down to like 20?
Hi Toby,
The first course of action is to call your doctor about going low. If it happens on a regular basis, it sounds like he/she should be adjusting your insulin regimen. Alternatively, the doctor might suggest having a snack to put more sugar into your system.
I’m not familiar with “Levemer” insulin. I take insulin from Lily Pharmaceuticals.
The usual self treatment is to lower whatever insulin you’re taking by a small amount until you find a happy medium.
Also, if you’re taking Lenti or Ultra-Lenti (Long acting insulin), you’re going to need to talk to your doctor about how to factor those dosages into your changes.
Good Luck!
When I got diabetes my. Level was at exactly
-666- I’m not superstitous or anything, but I have noticed that this number has been folowing me around my whole life.
I am 15, and iv had diabetes for most of my life. Sucks beyond words, I know how all a’you feel. Hate people telling you that you can’t do this, and you can’t do that. You know what I say? Fuck Em.
Were the ones with diabetes, not them. We control ourselfs, not them. Play sports, fight to be In the army even if they say no. Don’t give up though.
You probably wanna give up, but you can’t. Cuz if you give up then doctors and family and friends and bosses will always tell you that you can’t fucking do things in your life.
I continue to monitor my levels for mainly one reason. So I can prove those bastards wrong. So that everyone will look at us diabetics and know that we are capable of doing anything.
I hope that this will help anyone a bit.
I know exactly what that feels like when you need to do a test and some idiot near you tell syou to go away even if you feel liek apsolute crap, ow well i do it anyway lol
How do people get diabeties type 1 because i just got it how the hell did it happen what did i do to get it? =/
i feel all your pain. i was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when i was 13 and it’s crap. my first teenage year ruind by some evil disease that’s now going to live with me FOREVER! ahhhh.
my life is ruled by it: at school i have to eat biscuits in class to stop a hypo coming on, it’s so annoying having people asking for a biscuit. if there are any school trips i have to ask the doctors when to take my insulin if i am getting up at 1am. it’s terrible.
i know that there are worse afflictions and diseases in the world to suffer from but it’s still bad and my friends don’t really understand it.
i feel much better getting this off my chest
Hey guys I know how ALL of you feel. Ive been diabetic since 2006 and im now 18 years old. It has totally fucked up my life. Knowing that somoeday im going to die because if this stupid dieases is very stressful. And the thing i mostly hate about ti is not being able to sleep good in the night. I always seem to be low in the night I it makes me feel like shit and then i become so fustrated cause im so tired but I cant cause my my sugar is so low. It becomes so stressful that I even cry to myself when im alone to feel a little better but whats the point im going to feel it again. I cant stand this diease anymore. Everyday I hope for a cure I would give anything in the world for this horrible diease to be cured ANYTHING!!! PLEASE JUST LET THERE BE A CURE GOD PLEASE!!!! *cries*
hey…
so i was looking at something related to the topic…
i haven t been taking my shots frequently/if at all… lately and have been at a constant high…i d say 400…i know…i haven t been checking either…my insulin is expired anyways…i don t have health insurance in the US over the summer since i m an international student here…i only get it when i m in school…i have this cut on my ankle that hurts so bad and i started panicking REAL bad since it won t heal…i suspect it s the hot humid weather since it hurts and i can feel it but i m afraid it s …that…l;sadjfl’sadjf;ladjf;jasdfljasd;j
i m just sick and tired of it and really feel like no one can understand…i had perfect results last summer…expect i always had hypo-s and i would wake up 2 days after sometimes…one day i missed an exam in fact…and valentine s day too…”comatosed” thru it…anyways…despite my HBA1C being good because of that my doc here (fall semester) told me to lower my lantus injection and brought a shitload of stuff to change and it was all downhill from there…bad results, school stress, made me feel even worse…ensued even worse results etc…so here i am, a year later…freaking out about going blind and ………….. so…i m PMSing too…actually i have my P but it sure hasn t helped these past few days and i ve done nothing but stay home and cry and put ointment on my wound and cry…i need to pull myself together…but i might need help, won t deny that…anyone here having the same problem i have…could we maybe make contact and make sure to support each other to get our glycemia back on track? does any such forum exist? and please don t direct me to a forum for diabetics in general…i can t stand to be assimilated to people with type 2 diabetes for some reasons.
i get “take care of ur health” from my parents but they don t know how i feel and it feels as though they don t even understand…so instead of helping me it just makes me feel like crap.
guess i feel a tad less burdened having gotten that off my chest…
i ll check my glyceamia! –which i know will make me feel more so depressed–but will make an injection!
aight!
to better health! till we get a transplant!
*sian*
just read this from an admin who posted this in Feb 2009 and started crying but laughing at the same time:
“when you tell someone “I have diabetes”, they automatically think of some old person in those Type 2 commercials that needs to eat better and take a pill. Nothing could be further from the truth for those with Type 1.
Ignorance is extremely frustrating, and yes, I still worry about catastrophic events occuring in my life because I know that soon after, Type 1 would probably give me a miserable, extremely high blod suger, shitty death.”
THAT is why i said i can t stand to be assimilated to people with type 2 diabetes. i m neither old nor obese, i don t take freaking pills and don t need to “diet” as what the word “dieting” connotes and i can t get rid of it. i didn t “look” for it either…i was one of the skinniest kid in school (and we re talking Asia here so yes, skinny) when i got it and certainly not obese.
yesterday my “host family” i guess went out to get ice cream…the father…whom i REALLY respect and appreciate…he s my sponsor, pays for my studies here and i couldn t be more thankful but he joked about them eating ice cream right under my nose…i don t know but it reaped my heart. it s stupid i know and kids are starving out there but…maybe you understand…
to Toby:
i don t think they have any explanations if not for genetics and the regular BS explanations that have to do with psychology…because they had no way to explain why i got it, just like for everything that has few scientifically relevant explanations in the medical field they blamed it on a psycho-traumatic event that occured around the time that i got it.
so for all i know, i can blame my beloved grandpa for dying and making me so depressed i got ill…brilliant isn t it?
good luck coping with it! up untill 14 my results were real good…i ll always remember the day i learned about it…my mum came out crying and they got me 2 stuffed animals…one is a dog and the other a forever friend bear…after each injection my mum would give me a sugar free ricola sweet or one of those flat deutsche? ones…i doubt they sell those ricolas anymore…they were quite popular back then…i want to see these 2 stuffed animals now…i feel they could motivate me…
PS: i peed myself on the school trip before learning about it. i hadn t spilled water as i had told my classmates. never told anyone. in didn t smell of urine anyways so much water/hydrated there was/i was. dunno why i m saying this now…
I hate T1 so much… :(( My daughter has it. She is 10 and was diagnosed 18 months ago. I still get enraged by it sometimes. Like when she is high pretty much whenever my mum babysits. 2 to 3 times a week on account of me doing shift work. I just threw some desserts in the bin out of my mum’s fridge. Sure my daughter eats that stuff on occasion when she’s with me but we test and bolus accordingly. Why the hell can’t my mum help my daughter to do it?? When i try to talk to my mum she gets defensive or feigns ignorance and blames my daughter..
In regards to the film…
Hi - My name is Danielle - I live in the U.S. and I have been type 1 since I was 9. I am now 33.
My mother died from diabetic complications when she was 28. I was 6 then.
My grandmother had one of her legs amputated before she died from diabetes almost 10 years ago.
I could really break down and have a bitch-fest right now regarding type 1 but I will save the antics for another time.
My background is film but I now teach design.
I think your film should uncover the truth about the FDA and how much money they collect a year on insulin and other diabetes medications.
I have done some pretty extensive research over the years. Seems anytime something new comes on the market that could be a potential cure for diabetes - the FDA either bans it or buys it and then discards of it. Google Diabeticin (now called diamaxol because the FDA bought it) - you will see what I mean.
Several Scientists that have uncovered resourceful information for a cure have also been paid to keep their mouths shut or bought out by pharmaceutical companies.
I often wondered why other countries had not found the cure yet (knowing why there isn’t one in America) But the sad truth is that Diabetes is worth billions to the health Industry and pharmaceutical companies - It is the #4 killer in the world. If there were a cure - it would put thousands of Dr’s and Pharmaceutical companies out of business and a cure would starve our government of millions in tax revenue a year that they are making off from this disease. Not to mention that the government is aware that we are becoming over-populated so why not kill people off while making a profit. Genious!
Why does it cost $123.00 for a bottle of insulin when it costs the pharmaceutical companies around $12.00 to produce it? That is over a 100% profit.
Long story short - If your going to produce a film - you need to go “Michael Moore” on this countries ass! It’s time that “we” start fighting back - because this is all we have left - a fight that is - because the money hungry blood sucking cash whores of the government and pharmaceutical industries have taken most of our hope.
If your serious about this film and need help - please feel free to email me back. It’s time somebody puts a true reality film out there that uncovers the truth about diabetes and the huge profit that it generates.
-D
danielle.ifd@gmail.com
Hi Danielle,
Thanks for you wonderful comment. I too, wonder why people are busy raking in the cash on diabetics instead of just curing them. I won’t go as far as to say it’s a conspiracy, but more likely an outgrowth of living in a society driven by capitalism.
To be sure, the USA isn’t pure capitalism: even President Lyndon Johnson acknowledged that there are elements of socialism in our country.
The sad fact, however, is that the pharmaceutical business is just that: a “business”. They are here to make money, so why cure the disease that nets them such huge profits?
God am I glad I found this site. Sane people who are in the real world. So fed up with all this crap from shitty doctors who tell me to do this and that. Fuck right off, how can a non diabetic possibly understand what its like to be slfeeling so shit hours into the day for no apparent reason. I hate it when I just can’t wake up, I almost landed a new job , managed first few interviews since they where after lunch and I had eaten act, last interview was at 6.30 pm straight after work and before food. I just couldn’t wake up and get with it, didn’t get the job and now I’m still stuck, can’t progress can’t do anything. I’m sad awake in the early hours after a sugar crash and eating loads of sweets typing this. So glad I found you guys such a refreshing change. Sorry for my rambling but its good to get some stuff off my chest.
I’m 18, and I’ve had diabetes since last March. Sucks big time, I’m going off to college and now I have to worry about all this shit on top of it.
Hi Shadow,
That was nearly the exact same situation I was in. I was diagnosed December 1997, and went to college 8 months later in August 1998.
It REALLY sucks the first few weeks at school. Be careful with alcohol and any other substances. Supposedly alcohol lowers blood sugar, so my advice is to have drinks with a fruit juice mixer in them (orange juice, cranberry, grapefruit, etc). That can help counteract the lowering effects of alcohol. Also, watch yourself getting high if you’re drinking TOO much juice.
Good Luck!
Type1 does not bother me, ok hypos are bad but then I get some lovely scottish tablet to bring my sugar up. I manage to keep my blood level most days and the only problem I have is a sore on my ankle that just wont heal and gets bigger and bigger, I still smoke and doctors moan at me pointing out the dangers,( but did not think to mention the dangers of aspratane) I dont drink and stopped the day I got type 1 because I have seen first hand how quick you can lose your sight with alchohol. The way I see it there are kids in cancer wards with smiles on their faces so what have i got to complain about.
So i’ll die in my sleep or have a fatal stroke or heart attack; great way to go I think’ no point in living to and old age in an old peoples home getting abused by underpaid carers, in fact diabetis could be a blessing
Type1 does not bother me, ok hypos are bad but then I get some lovely scottish tablet to bring my sugar up. I manage to keep my blood level most days and the only problem I have is a sore on my ankle that just wont heal and gets bigger and bigger, I still smoke and doctors moan at me pointing out the dangers,( but did not think to mention the dangers of aspratane) I dont drink and stopped the day I got type 1 because I have seen first hand how quick you can lose your sight with alchohol. The way I see it there are kids in cancer wards with smiles on their faces so what have i got to complain about.
So i’ll die in my sleep or have a fatal stroke or heart attack; great way to go I think’ no point in living to and old age in an old peoples home getting abused by underpaid carers, in fact diabetis could be a blessing
I no how you feel I’m 17 and have had type 1 since I was 3 years old. It does effect your life in different ways bur it’s something you have to get use to because it’s not going to suddenly go away. I just tell myself I can still do anything that anyone else can do but we’ve just got to be thay extra bit carefully.
I googled people that hate having Type 1 diabetes and what do you know ….I’m not alone!!!! I have had this disease for 18yrs. My grandparents were diabetics and I helped to take care of them, so when I was diagnosed at the age of 12 I was devistated!!! My entire childhood, teenage years and now adult life has been a total revolving nightmare full of doctors, hospitals, needles and people telling you all you have to do is this or that and you’ll be fine. The world doesn’t know the 1/2 of what it’s like to live worried all the time …. My blood sugars tooo high or tooo low or your kidneys are gonna fail, you’ll go blind, neuropathy and oh yeah DEATH!!!! I’m telling you, I just turned 30 in June and to now add to my diabetic drama I now have neuropathy in my feet, some kidney damage, something going bonkers w/ my pancreas and it’s like WTF!!!! My only other cousin that had diabetes died in his 30’s, so of course I have just been awaiting this time w/ such great anticipation ….. not!!!! I have spent my entire life depressed and have tried often to just kill myself because you can’t see any hope w/ type 1 diabetes. Really where is the light. I’m so tired of seeing these commercials w/ these old farts that have type 2 and all they have to do is walk around the block and eat an apple and their fine. No matter what I do I will never be fine ….. I will always have this crap. I have never had a chance to enjoy life ….. I’m a good person and I’m good to other people, so why do I have to be cursed w/ this ….. so unfair.
I’m 15 this year - diagnosed in march with type 1, six months ago.
I’m gay (I hate that), I live with a very brain damaged person (I HATE that), & I have another autoimmune disease called vitiligo - basically it leaves me with white blotches all over my skin.
Everywhere I go people scream ‘faggot, poofter’ at me, and the moment I get home I’m hounded by this socially insufficient braindamaged relative and his mother who also lives in my house - she’s bonkers. I can’t relax at home because my family is mental. Nothing is easy. I can’t relax out of home because I get gosh darn abused wherever I go. I feel trapped, sometimes I hate myself.
Nobody understands what it’s like to be gay, or have a disabled relative, or have diabetes. Type 1 is the last thing I wanted - sometimes the stress is too much. I didn’t ask for any of those things?
I’m 15, my friends are only starting to drink now - last night my friend’s birthday party was fun until the shots came out. For some of them it was their first time trying shots. But I couldn’t join in - I didn’t know what to do. At clinic they just tell me to straight out stay away from alcohol. But I’m a teenager, you know? I’m a good kid… I just want to drink some vodka & regret it when I’m throwing up in the morning. Something I’ve leaned very quickly is that drunk people are not fun at all when you’re sober.
And I know… ‘you can howl at the moon but your diabetes will remain’, but it’s not fair - I feel trapped. I don’t even remember what it’s like to relax, what it’s like to be happy with my body and myself :/.
it’s good to read everyones stories… people actually feel the same things!