May
21
Lately I’ve been very easily bored. I think this is a symptom of depression. At the same time, I have no motivation or interest to do anything to occupy my time.
The feeling of boredom is at its worse when I’m using my computer. As I’ve written in other posts, I make a living marketing websites. I create websites from scratch, and then join affiliate marketing programs that resell products or services. Money is made when a customer visits my website, clicks on a banner, and then makes a purchase at the participating merchant.
Part of my daily routine is checking to see if I’ve made money at any of the merchants, since the stats update every 24 hours. After logging into my email and taking care of all important correspondence, I surf through the various affiliate programs checking my earnings.
I get a little rush if I see that I’ve had an increase in earnings in a given week, or if I see that I’ve been able to garner a higher number of ad impressions or user clicks.
The problem is, this routine of checking my earnings takes all of 15 minutes. After that, I don’t know what to do with myself, because there is nothing else for me to do that gives me such positive rush like checking weekly earning reports.
As a result, unless I can get motivated to work on maintaining my websites, or writing scripts for my servers, I simply stare at the computer screen blankly and do absolutely nothing.
It’s as if the only thing I had to look forward to for the day was 15 minutes of checking income figures.
Sometimes I have projects to do and kill the rest of my day taking care of these tasks, but days that are not structured generally find me bored to teers, but listless at the same time.
If I was more extroverted and energetic, I’d get myself out to the gym (like I used to do) or out of my apartment to the local mall to browse stores.
Instead, I simply take 1-2 hour naps to pass time, eat recreationally, and watch mindless TV.
If I could find a pill that would give me a boost of energy I would take it in a heart beat.
The worst part is, when I retire for the day and head to bed, suddenly my mind seems to “wake up” and is full of running thoughts.
This makes it near impossible to get to sleep. I find that if I can’t get to bed by 4 AM, I have to take a Klonopin to quiet my mind. A small dosage will usually help me off to sleep, but when I wake up the next day, I’m usually tired and lethargic.
I need to find ways to get my energy and positive emotion gears turning. Most importantly, I need to find ways to create a day for myself that provides lots of different things to look forward to, so that I simply don’t sleep my day away out of boredom and depression.
Um..yeah,well I think that we all feel that way from time to time, including myself. Unfortunately there is no pill to cure this lazy, empty, tired feeling. I think that its simply this: The body is sluggish. It is crying out for some exercise!! Get those limbs moving, get your heart pumping, your blood moving around, pores sweating!! This will inturn energise you, creating fresh thoughts and sensations. And cleanse your body with Water, drinks more of it. I know this all sounds like boring crap that we’ve all heard before, but there is a lot to be said for exercise. Sometimes we are just simply lazy. Its a fact of life. Go treat your body to something really active! (if you want)
regards,
another lazy person who knows that she also needs more exercise.
if u are extremely bored and still don’t want to get up and exercise try creating a plan to take ovr the wrld or making the world a better place.
Sounds like your stuck in a rut, you need to get out of your apartment and feel the fresh air and the bright warm sun. Anyhow if that doesn’t work you go down to 7-11 and buy yourself a SPIKE its in a black can WOW i drink it like clockwork everymorning to wake up. try it
GOODLUCK
Liz
Hi Liz,
Thanks for your comment!
I’ll remember to grab a SPIKE next time I’m in the store.
I know for sure Costa Rica has Red Bull, but it would be cool to try something different.
get a prescription for adderall, that shit will give you all sorts of energy and motivation.
Hey, i know what you are feeling.
I get in ruts frequently like this, but i find ways to break them. Take up a new hobby, delve into something i used to do, get a book (don’t know how you feel about reading), or i exercise, even if its just a walk around town, biking, jumping around with little kids, or something else minimal.
If i don’t get in some kind of physical activity i find it next to impossible to sleep at night. Our society ahs become lazy, myself included and its hard to find motivation to do things that require any effort. I can’t count the days i’ve spent doing nothing but messing on my comptuer and really not gotten anything out of it. I’m too old for the games and things i used to do on here and find it just a waste of my time, but i frequently don’t feel like doing anythign else.
Join a club, find a charity, do something that holds you accountable for going and doing something else.
One more thing, I know it sounds silly, but if you wake up in the morning and stop snoozing your alarm and say its a brand new day, time to get started! i find it helps. I’m always in a better day if i just get up instead of snoozing hte alarm and putting off the start of a new day.
Hope that helps
Hey i know its off topic, but I feel the same way you do as well, but really want to get into what you do for a living, I have 2 children whom i take care of while the wife is at work and looking to do some more with my time. How do you get into what you are doing for a living, we might as well suffer together. Email me back at scotthunt@shaw.ca
Thanks
Hey man I can relate. Check out Sluggish Congitive Tempo sometime I think it will be eyelifting. It was for me. The acronym is SCT. Actually Wikipedia it
I know exactly how you feel. the thing is that you just cant shake it, no matter how hard you try or what you do you still feel the same. ive struggled for this for a while. I suggest you go to a doctor or better yet a psychologist. Some times people are lazy but if you really feel like this alot you could have a problem. In conditions such as depression and ADHD, the chemical balance in the brain is not correct. there are a lot of medicines that can help this. Im on wellbutrin which is usually prescribed for deppression and it has helped alot, it took away that bored restless feeling, i dont watch the clock anymore, but i can immerse myself in whatever im doing.
Also, ADHD can directly affect you motivation and ability to concentrate on one thing for extended amount of time. Get checked out, believe me, i used to never think that stuff really worked, but im glad i got help. Things are alot better now for me, i just feel normal!
I feel the same way. My doctor did some bloodwork, and all came back okay. I tried effexor, zanax, celexa, and a few others. I did prescription to help me sleep. So, at least I feel more rested, but I still have no motivation, energy, desire to go anywhere or do anything ( except, work, of course). Getting the doctors to give prescriptions to do hormonal bloodwork, or ADHD diagnosis, or ADHD medications is like pulling teeth. For ADD, I have to go to special doctors that are miles away or not covered by my insurance. And I have no energy to pursue it. :-/ I try to take vitamins, make plans to go out ( then either cancel or not really enjoy myself when I go). I feel like a robot - sleep, work, bit of housework, sleep, work, etc etc,,,,,. Problem with being n a rut is we can’t get out. Most of us like this know what we should do, but physically we can’t. And THAT makes it worse !
Mike, that’s not true at all. I’m prescribed to adderall, and it doesn’t help with my motivation whatsoever. Just helps you stay focused.
Sounds like you could be suffering from depression, I think I am as well.
I’m suffering from the same afflictions as the people above. The funny thing is, I know the answer to fix it (at least what worked for me in the past)…
The unfortunate kicker is, it took a horrible relationship break up to ignite my fire. I was lethargic, non-motivated (in my personal life; not business), overweight; which in turn made my self confidence go down the crapper; and that is just the beginning of the domino effect.
That break up motivated me to read a book called body for life (suggested to my by my Doctor when I asked him for help). It sparked a full emotional and physical overhaul. I had gotten in the best shape of my life; it gave me the knowledge, and strength to pull myself out of my rut.
After completing such a feet, I promised myself I’d never let myself get back to the way I was, but sure enough about 6 years later; here I am.
My current relationship is on “auto pilot”, so I don’t have that same catalyst (or fire)to ignite my will to strength train, run, diet, etc. as I once did.
Here I am one again, looking in the mirror, disgusted with myself, knowing a change has to come soon; or else.
I guess I’ll write back to share when I find new resolution.
“Till then…
Rob
I can relate to all above.
I have been on the medication, visited therapists, exercised etc etc.
But with-out the reason ‘why’ there was no true motivation.
What really made a difference for me was working on ‘what life is all about’
I asked myself what is happiness? Then I sought the answers. This began a journey which I continue today.
I started by studying some books and videos from the library and developing my own philosophies about life. I found getting a firm grasp on my spiritualism (not to be mixed with religion) helped me also.
I am still learning how to deal with my depresive cycles but now recognize them for what they are, and know they will pass eventually.
Everyone gets them just some people get them harder.
One of my philosophies which help me:
I am responsible for everything in my life.
Eventually I replaced medication with meditation. Medication has a place to mask the problem to give you respite to get yourself together. It is usually not an answer in it’s self.
Good luck on your journey and remember:
All the events of life are important, like a chain with many links, remove a link and the chain is incomplete. Every moment in my life whether challenging or easy, elating or demoralizing, lonely or full have all happened to help make me the fantastic person I am today and this is the best person I can possibly be at this point of time given my experiences, environment and knowledge of the world.
Hi Empathy,
Thanks so much for your comment! Your ideas about finding a level of inner peace within yourself can certainly help on those days when we’re feeling down and without hope. Good Luck and Best Wishes!
It has to do with your brain releasing dopamine and all the other stuff that makes you feel good. Some of our bodies have a harder time doing just that. For me, a simple phone call of good news and I am dancing on the floor ready to conquer the world. You just have to create that kind of environment. When you see those numbers and the anticipation of making money your brain releases those good chemicals and energizes you. You can turn them on by competition, challenges, life coaches, hiring a 24/7 trainer (lol) or maybe just finding a new love or even a new pet! There are no fixes other than finding your own answers. ADD and depression can be helped tremendously if we can see ourselves and try all you can and imagine. Albert Einstein was asked how he knew something would work. He said that he didn’t. But he knew a thousand things that didn’t. Love the world and find pleasure with all that touches your life…good luck.
Hi Steven,
Thanks for your insightful and wonderful comment!
I just came accross your blog because I am feeling the exact same way. I am in a rut and prefer to sleep, sleep, sleep. I live in Canada and the winter is just dragging me down. I blame the weather alot for my mood, so cold and very little sunshine. I’m so lazy and unmotivated. I’ve also noticed that i get worse if I spend too much time on the computer. Has your mood changed any since posting?
I have a lifestyle similar to yourself - and have had similar thoughts. Yes there is emptiness here. There is emptiness in computers. However emptiness does have some rewards.
I offer you no advice. In my life and I mean this, I’ve accepted the void as a friend. Took a while to learn to piss a day away doing nothing and to have no guilt or fear or worry over where my life was going. I really had to open up my mind to the concept that it’s going nowhere and I couldn’t be happier about it. I gave up worrying about changing. I now live my life in spite of change or advice from others. When I feel boredom enter I greet it, tell it to have a seat in front of the telly and ask what channel it wants to watch. I have never felt more free. Sure I’m not going to change the world or leave a mark, but then I never wanted to. Time is mine and I will do with it as I please whilst I have it.
Hi Harry,
Thanks for your comment! Your thoughts are actually very valid and provide an interesting take on the boredom that comes with solo work. Accepting certain circumstances of life is one step towards sanity.
I’ve grown out of touch with feelings all together. It’s as if my spectrum of emotions has shrunk to a simple sad, bored, and entertained. I can’t recall the last time I had a burning sensation to do anything. The chair, couch, and floor have become extensions of my body. When I try and get out of this rut I can’t do it in a moderate fashion, I’m obsessive. Maybe I do this to give off the impression to others that I work hard, when really my only intention is to stop. As a result of feeling empty and worthless I don’t eat, won’t sleep for days, It’s as if I think the pain from these stupid acts will count towards something. My advice, surround yourself with people that rely on you. Offer to pick up a friends kid form school, pets, clean your grandparents house. Make yourself important to another person. Anyways I’m not in any position to give such advice but you never know what might stick with someone.
Hi Galen,
Thank you very much for your thoughts. The idea about surrounding yourself with plenty of social connections (even if it’s only for chores) is a good idea and a great place to start.
Hey I just wanted to let you know that everyone goes through times like this and that there is hope in getting yourself out of this rut! I have experienced this type of thing before and basically I said to myself “Do you want to sit her and wait in a unhappy life or go out and do something with your life?” Maybe this question will help you. I truely hope you find out what you want to do in life and what makes you happy
Yeah I’m in this boat too… I honestly don’t believe there is much to be said other than that there is really no solution for some of us at all. I am apathetic towards life in general, the only thing I really care about is the idea that I don’t care about anything. I’m a massive underachiever. I know that some say you can just change your lifestyle and everything gets better.
I have a beautiful girlfriend who I predict will lose interest in my lethargic self, I work out everyday simply because it has become habit, nothing makes me feel better. Nothing makes me care, at least not about what we are “supposed” to care about. We live in a world where work is everything, uninteresting work that is necessary to our continued comfort. Sometimes I wish I was dead, I’d probably kill myself to save me the misery that lies within effort, but I couldn’t do that to those who care about me, or I would. Life is like a battle against boring shit everyday, with no reward. I know the next day will simply throw more shit my direction, so why bother doing anything. I don’t feel super unhappy, but I don’t ever feel good either. I feel nothing. I have the potential to do anything, I have girls throwing themselves at my feet, and I have a long list of great friends, but when it really comes down to it, I don’t care. I simply do not have mental energy in any way whatsoever. Exercise doesn’t do anything, I know that when it comes down to it, life has no purpose at all, I have no purpose or reason, what would be the good in having energy anyways if you just simply “live.”
Many of you do not even understand where I am coming from, and never could. It boils down to chemical imbalances perhaps, who knows. My reality is shit, because I have two choices: work and be miserable and comfortable, or do nothing and be poor, miserable, and uncomfortable.
I would rather die than do shit I hate everyday for the rest of my life. None of this is simply a matter of attitude, an unsatisfactory lifestyle, or anything I can change. It just is and I fucking hate it. I guess I’ll burn out on drugs and die, nothing better to do anyways really.
Stefan,
Thanks so much for your thoughts. Boredom can come at people from many different angles, no matter what your personal, social, of physical condition is.
Boredom can be a symptom of depression, but it’s really up to a doctor to decide what’s going on. Take some time out for yourself and visit a physician to see if there are any treatments available to help. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t, but probably better to try at least.
Good Luck…
Stefan I have been there. I have felt the nothingness of life and honestly it was depression making me feel so empty. I have found myself in a another, less depressive rut this time. I am a stay at home mom. Up until a month ago I was doing ok with the daily grind. I have no car and live in a Muslim country, with no friends, and no outlet except my husband. He comes home from work and goes straight to the computer or the TV to unwind. What little conversation we have lacks intimacy, and our sex life is so routine. We have been trying to have another baby, and last month I had a miscarriage. It is a fact of life which I have tried to remain positive about; I know the science behind it, and I am willing to except my body rejecting a bad egg/sperm. It has made everything else in my life come to a head. The cabin fever has kicked in pretty hard. I can’t go out for a walk with out men following me in there cars, or constant horn honks, and cat calls, yes, even with my 15 month old with me. There are abductions regularly and crimes against women are rarely acted on by authorities. In some places if you go to the police you can be arrested for sex out of wed lock for being raped, so I am not going to put myself or my daughter at risk more then I have to. My husband does not understand what my life is like, to have no friends, and virtually no freedom; he does not know what it feels like day in and day out being at home looking at this 4 walls. I just want to go home, to have my truck back, to be able to walk into my yard and smell the grass after it has been cut, I want to be able to drive to the mall when I am bored or go get coffee with a friend. These simple sacrifices are no longer simple. Now I sit around wondering what can I do to keep from being bored. I am a damn good cook but don’t want to do that, I am teaching myself piano but don’t want to do that, I am working on interval training but don’t want to do that, I don’t want to do anything, and on the days I am really depressed if I do anything it just makes me tired and then totally depressed. I wish I could take drugs to make it better but that doesn’t go along with getting pregnant. I wish I could drink to wash it away but pregnancy and this Musilm country stand in my way. I know I need some kind of daily goal but nothing sounds fulfilling, not even the things I used to love. I am just working at not taking it out on my baby and she is already in the terrible twos so being patient with her is a chore. There are no simple answers for me, maybe I just need a good long cry, a tub of ice cream, and some plane tickets which will never come soon enough because I have to be here for sure until May or June.
God bless America, and all you lucky people who are there please go play in the snow, throw a snow ball at someone you love or hate, and make at least one snow angel, then have a hot chocolate (home made if possible), and if you don’t have a fireplace put one on your computer display and pretend. I would love to hear about it.
Hi Grace,
I’m very sorry to hear about the miscarriage: that can be very upsetting, particularly for women. I am not familiar with your culture, but perhaps there is a group of wives that meet at a neighbor’s house? Or, maybe there is a communal place for childcare? If nothing else, visit a doctor on a regular basis to address your depression. It sounds like you could use some honest, intimate human contact.
I am so depressed and have been on every single depressive drug out there,,,they do not work they are only short term fixes and they f@#k your body up….although i was depressed, i had plenty of energy and zest for life and always found something to do..after the anti depressives i had no energy body was run down and feel unmotivatied…
What i am stating Above is that anti depressive drugs are only a money making thing for drug companies,,,they may fIx one area in your body but they will damage the well being of the complete body system,,,,.
A doctorS are just like salesmen for the drug companies,,///ie:- take this and come back in three months,,try this..try this…try this,,,etc…you get the idea we, are just test rats..
Anyway i go to bed every night praying never to wake, but feel ashamed feeling this way..
so i am caught in this limbo..
but at the same time i just don’t feel any real love,, I am tied to a relationship as my partner does not want to do anything except her things,,,and i just sit on the side line..i don’t do anything now ,,,i am so drained and exhausted and i used to work all the hours and give all my money to my partner,,,,but my relationship still felt empty, she also uses the kids againest me, saying that if i leave i will not get to see them much..
TH
ENCOURGEMENT,,
I AM THERE WITH YOU..YOU ARE NOT ALONE..
sometimes we all have something or someone that is triggering us to feel this way ….we just need to dig deep within to find what it is and find the power to walk away from it or forget about it, sometimes that can be really hard and that is what uses all our energy and then we feel depressed…that’s when it all starts to go down hill…
Change can be hard, but it’s better than giving up on yourself…Fight the demons within, and feel proud about kicking their ass.
We all feel we are the only ones who feel this way, but the truth is millions are on the same boat…(FACT)
It just that we need to get off the depression boat and stop thinking too much about it..
Stop letting the bad memories or past events or people destroy your life and do what you feel in you heart is wright,,don’t let it pull us down..into the depths..THE PAST IS GONE, IT CANNOT GET YOU ANY MORE..
THE FUTURE IS FRESH,- NEW
SO LET THAT BE YOU.. A NEW YOU.
Beak free from the chains, of what is doing this to you and you will find a your path to happiness or contentment, Things may be hard at first,,,but if you fight your way through it.. you will feel a proudness surge through your body and that will empower you with the energy you need..
REMEMBER YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK AND FEEL
ALL THE BEST WITH YOUR JOURNEY, IT’S MAY BE A SLOW ONE…
I AM STILL STRUGGLING WITH MINE…BUT I DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE. AND I SEE THAT I MUST CHANGE TO SAVE MYSELF… OR I AM LETTING MY DEMONS WITHIN ME, BATTER ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,,I AM GETTING UP AND TAKING CONTROL AND FIGHTING BACK AND SLOWLY ENERGY RETURNS,,
SOMETIMES ONLY FOR A DAY OR TWO BUT I AM GETTING THERE.
hey, i hope since th post your feeling a little better, tonight i feel pathetic and have been feeling likethis for about a week now. I have time where feeling empty ,lazy and everything all comes at once and its all abit over welming. But i just want to pass on a message my nana always says to me , “you make your own destiny, your life is what you make it, and if you want something done do it yourself” lol guess it came come across as harsh but my nana always gives me the home truths any they work for me, thats why after putting off all my house chores tonight, soon as ive wrote this im jumping up and not thinking about it. haha
If you feel down, stressed, anxious i think the best thing is make a hour diary and plan ahead? i do this at work as i deal with alot of pressure on targets/deadlines …..
the night before or that morning plan what you want to do hourly , set you self a goal to achieve. you can base this on anything, but it makes you up and go and you dont think about as much. before you know it you wont feel lazy and life becomes more organised.
Also you sated you feel a rush off checking your earnings but then you get bored … you sound like a hard working person who is motivated by money so if you have got free time on your hand why not look into a new project that could bring you in more money. this may sound silly but i like to purchase second hand products get creative with them, and you can even sell them on.
inregards to sleeping, using computers late at night will not help, eating late doesnt help. i suffered with insomnia for a while but i tried out some herbal tablets called karms. they relax you alot and bring on natueral sleep. maybe and afternoon or evening routine needs re organising. make note of what your doing each day, and if your unwinding ready for bed on time. and set your self a bed time thats reasonable.
ok my rants over but i hope it may have been some help. best wishes!!
Hi Laura,
Thanks so much for your ideas! They are very practical and make perfect sense…
Take care!
Some of the posters here are depressed. Maybe a good psychodynamic therapist can help with that in the long term. But for those of you struggling with boredom and lack of motivation, I may have a solution.
It’s the same thing we would do any other time we have a problem we can’t fix ourselves. We hire some help. Doctors are mostly idiots, I’m not talking about them. What I mean is - if I can’t motivate myself, I’m going to pay someone to come round one day a week and I’m going to give him a list of all the things I haven’t been able to make myself do. His job is to keep me company while I do them, and maybe help out with some of the work. I will pay him to do this, so he will do it. Because I am paying him, I will not waste the time. I just know it’s going to work. It starts 8 days from now. If I can find my way back here, I’ll let you know how it went.
Wow, I see me in so many of these posts. I found this place searching the web for the same motivation, ehy can’t I feel better pill on the web. I am so tired of being tired! I can’t seem to pull me together. Been on layoff since Oct 2009 and got a job starting MOnday, just cant still feel the motivation to want to go back to work now. My husband left me in Dec, struggled thru the winter having to do things I didn’t want to. Then he came back in Feb, he wanted to do Foster care and we got 3 kids and I hate life more now. I don;t know why I thought I would love it.So if anyone finds the answer for energy motivation let me know too. I dont have enough motivation to start exercise to see if it give me more energy
Wow, there are some really great comments here.
I personally don’t like all this talk about brain chemicals and pills. I think most people can control their behavior and their emotions if they really want to.
Everybody go through times of lack of energy and motivation. Like some people said here, the way to get back on track is in the basics…
1. Being grateful - appreciate what you have. Some people worry about what they’d feed their children today. Remind yourself how fortunate you are. Enjoy what you have, even if it’s just your health or food or security.
2. Setting goals - getting clear on what’s important to you, what you want to your life to be like and planning how to get it. (and enjoying the the journey, not just focusing on results.)
3. Being active - working out, spending time outdoors or simply moving your body - taking walks, stretching, whatever makes you feel good.
4. Eating well - less junk food, coffee and sugar, more water and healthy, living food - fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds and eggs.
(By the way, there is a big talk these days about dairy products not being good for us. You may want to try removing all dairy from your diet for a couple of weeks and see you feel).
I could go on, but these are the major things.
Final note:
Stefan (above) said something about life having no purpose. I completely agree that life itself have no purpose. I don’t believe in a creator or the afterlife or anything like that. As I see it, though, the conclusion should be the exact opposite…
Since life has no meaning or purpose on its own, the only way to live it is to make it count, or at least - enjoy it!
Hope this makes sense.
Rotem Cohen
EnergyAndMotivation.com
Hey, I totally get what you were/are going through. I feel the same way.
The Computer sort of Sucks us in. and it’s just so comfortable in there. we don’t have to face life we can just sit back and be in the safety of the internet.
I’ve been experiencing it alot lately,
I find that what helps is to go running for 20minutes or so atleast 1 time every 7 days.
Try to push your self into going into the real world.
If Procrastination joins in, try to write down what you need to do in a list and do a 2-3 things per day.
Notice your accomplishments, and try to get something productive done every day.
Get a new Hobby, Find something fun to do outside, go for a walk in the sunshine, even in the Snow if that’s the case.
Try to go to bed before midnight, and when you walk up jump out of bed immediately DONT SNOOZE,
and Say
“Todays going to be great, because I’m going to make it so!!”
Hope some of that helps, it sure did me. Oh and you work with Ads and Google words.
You should probably work on developping this adress into something more. You’re pretty high up on google with this number 5 under ‘bored but dont want to sleep’
Thanks have a great day!
Hey guys, I’ve felt like this (no energy, demotivated, depressed) on and off for awhile - though more on than off I must admit! I’m still stuggling a lot at the moment as I’m trying to claw my way out of this deep pit of depression and anxiety I’ve fallen into.
I heard someone on the radio recently say that weak people don’t get depressed - strong people do because they try and do too much all at once. This really struck a chord with me because that’s how I’ve felt. For ages now I’ve tried to turn my life around all in one go (I don’t know how many times I’ve told people “this is it, I’m going to sort myself out”) then failed miserably and sunk deeper into boredom, demotivation, stress and ultimately depression again.
Now I’m trying to change little things at a time - it doesn’t matter if I’m late to work, the point is I’m at work! Step two will be getting to work on time. I’m fortunate that my employer is understanding, but their patience has had limits and this has helped too. I’ve been told to improve my attendance and performance at work, and now, after many false starts I’m really trying to be here and be effective. For me, it’s helped to be accountable to someone - I guess it’s the carrot and stick approach - the carrot hasn’t worked so now we’re trying the stick!
This works in the gym as well where I have a personal trainer who enjoys (perhaps a little too much!) keeping me motivated in the gym/on a run etc. which improves my energy levels and general fitness.
I don’t know how this will all turn out, but I hope that by taking small steps, with some encouragement and persuasion from the people around me at work, at home and down the gym are helping me to do the things I should be doing and I’m starting to feel more positive again. Ultimately, I hope this is the path to lifting two year’s worth of depression.
Maybe my story will help, if not, thanks for taking the time to read it.
Hi Rob,
Thanks for your post and excellent perspective.
I also tend to try to change too much at once. For example, I tell myself, “Tomorrow I’m going on a diet, will begin exercising an hour each day, will have extra salad at dinner, and will go to bed much earlier.”
Well, as you say, it doesn’t work out.
Taking smaller steps goes a long way, and once you’ve achieved one of your goals, it feels really good.
I am so pleased to find I am not alone.
I’ve been struggling to understand why I have become so far removed from the person I was. The active one; the one who looked for jobs to complete; the one who was only happy being active. Hmm, I’ve just put into words why I feel so miserable!! I am happier being busy!!!! So why aren’t I keeping busy??
Why does it sound easier than it is. Am I overthinging it!! I sit here many a day for many a year wondering why I have come to a complete standstill. I seem to have lost every part of any kind of motivational skills l held, partly as they are used up, trying to keep going with ‘l’m ok sage!’ For so long its been a way of pushing me along but now I am fighting it to remain still. Why? What drives this destruction.
I think I am at my lowest and find NO I can get more unhappy it just takes the ability to sit and stare into space…….for me to think I can get lower!!
My head says move but my legs refuse to conform. What is wrong with me?
lt is a comfort to realise l am not on my own. I do suffer from guilt and shame for the person I have become. I don’t like myself. I am very lazy and disinterested in myself and others.
What am I punishing others for and hurting myself in the process. Its silly, and worthless but that just sums up how l feel about myself - worthless.
Thank you to the people who have commented on this post its been a real tonic for me. To know I am not alone in life’s struggles. I hate myself for feeling sorry for myself while in this state of non living. I feel it should be so easy to flick the switch back to becoming who I used to be but I don’t seem to find that person to flick the switch anymore.
Thank you and I hope those who wrote on here previously have been able to overcome and re-build a happy and content life.
Dude I totally know where you’re coming from. It happens to me all the time. Like right now, I have two big tests tommorrow but I just cant find it in me to study for them. Maybe a shower would help. Ill get to studying eventually tonite…i better.
I am going through this right now. My symtoms have been getting progressively worse for years untill last month when i got a really bad cold and it seems to have zapped whatever motivation/energy i was clinging to.
This has nothing to do with exercise. Untill i caught my cold last month I was exercising atleast 4 days a week. 2 sessions of 2 hours or more of college level basketball (i am fit enough to dunk 2 handed at 6ft tall) and 2 sessions of one hour weight training. Outside of those physical activities i moved very little during the week. Its almost like i was trying to save energy for my workout sessions. My cold is gone but it seems like i can’t get back to even the crappy state i was in before.
I hate people. I can’t stand walking through a shopping center. I put off the most meaningless, easy tasks, like changing a light bulb in my garage for years. I have become extremely routine oriented. Any deviation from my routine causes me anxiety. I know i need help but I can’t even bring myself to go to the doctors because its outside of my routine. I want to snap out of this and i know its all so ridiculous to people but I find it so hard to do.
I have 3 very exceptional friends who would do anything for me and yet I can barely muster the energy to talk to them on the phone… and when i do, I am always bloody negative to everything. I haven’t dated in 8 years because It involves breaking my routine. They offer to take me out anywhere to do anything and pay for it all and i still say no. I’m sure they must think i just don’t like them and that is not true at all.
I went for a new job interview that would pay me about 50k a year for 24 hours a week of work and I almost broke down when i got home because i realized i couldn’t bring myself to muster the energy to do it. This is in addition to the fact that it was in customer service… I hate people remember. It comes down to the amount of time people are unthoughtful, ignorant or don’t make sense,… it infuriates me inside. I know this is a horrible way to think and i can’t control the world so i stay home ALL the time.
I eat the same foods, same meals everyday. I’ve calculated the calories to match up with the amount of exercise i do and in the interest of keeping the body type and physical abilities i have so i never eat out or order take out. At family BBQ’s or parties (I find it very hard to attend in the first place) I don’t eat any of the food that is prepared.
Lately its so bad I have given thought to suicide because I see no hope of curing these things. I’m not close yet, but I fear another few years of this and it is an inevitable conclusion.
I know i need to creat opportunities for myself and that starts with breaking my routine… but I’m affraid. I’ve even become affraid of the pain and discomfort of working out and playing basketball. I love these things and I find it so hard to bring myself to do them anymore.
I always doubt myself and my abilities. I will never be strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, good looking enough etc etc
I don’t know what to do.
Your not alone.
Hi Joey,
Thanks so much for your thoughts.
It sounds like you might have obsessive-compulsive tendencies, plus some depression.
I too follow a regular routine and feel anxiety when there is an expected change, ie. social function, doctor’s appointment, etc. This is due in part to the fact that I have Type 1 Diabetes and have to live on a schedule in order to keep my blood sugar levels in check.
Keep up the exercise. It gets you out of the house and gives you some focus during the day.
That aside, I’d suggest setting up an appointment with a Doctor as soon as possible. Then, a few days before the appointment, practice getting ready and allowing yourself time in your day to block off for the appointment. When the real appointment arrives, you’ll feel more comfortable deviating from your routine.
Good Luck!
I feel your pain.
I was always the type of guy that needed a fire lite under me to get me going, that little push to get me going in the right direction.
I guess I was always lazy when it came to doing things that were just “keep your self busy things”.
Because I was more than happy to be sitting home watching a movie.
But after my breakup with my girlfriend (in the U.S.) I moved back home to Canada and in with my mom.
When I got home I found a once beautiful well kept home and mother in shambles.Things were that bad (health wise) with my mom if I hadn’t came home when I did, I would of ended up back home for her funeral.
Well, home was always my safety net, a place I could go back to and reset if things went to bad.
This time when I got home I was met eyeball deep in other more serious problems that needed to be taken care of.
It’s been over a year now and mom isn’t much better, and that’s with me looking after her 24/7.
I lost all contact with the outside world, I seen my Dr (only when I got to the point of “OK,I’m losing my mind and I need help”)
he gave me meds that helped a little with stress and sleeping but the problems were still there.
My mom is only young (58) and still is coherent enough to refuse in home care (other than me) and not see her Dr.
So my mind is racing all the time between my problems and feelings of failing at everything I do and how sick my mom is.
For the first few months after I got back it was an excuse not to go out or do anything other than take care of her. Soon that turned into a year and my life is a total mess, with major depression. I don’t think my room seen a vacuum since I got home, it takes all my energy to look after mom and a bump or thud sends me into panic mode.
I don’t have a car, and where I live there is nothing to do other than watch cars drive by.
So while I do clean the house and cook and feed for mom, my little corner of the house looks like a truck drove through it.
Have I mentioned mom is also incontinent now, and while most days she can clean and look after that part, some days I’m forced to.
Like I said I always needed that little extra push to get me going and on my feet, but now that push will never come.
I feel like I got a mountain of problems ahead of me and a spoon to get it out of the way.
Even if I do find the motivation, energy to do this, the path this mountain is on sucks.
Mom is the only family I got, she was the only person in my life from the time I was a kid until now (I’m 35) I seen how hard she worked and how much pride she put into everything she got, she never had a house of her own, but always rented a house.
I understand that all her stuff would have to go if I got her into a care home, and she refuses to have anyone come in and take care of her. But I know if she was left alone like before she would lock the doors, shut her self off from the world and someone would be finding her dead.
Then in the back of my mind I think “she’s not even 60 yet, how can she be this sick. maybe she will get better”.
But I have no emotional support, no one that can share the work load and I’m slowly falling apart emotionally.
I was a train-wreck before I got home, and that train got bulldozed off a cliff once I got home.
I know what needs to be done, but I can’t, no matter how hard I try or want to do it,to seem to actually do it.
I guess I feel like its better to go down with the ship than jump off, watch it sink, then be stuck alone hundreds of miles from shore.
Things might be different if mom hadn’t worked so hard for everything she got, tried so hard all her life to keep her head above water while taking care of me, or if I had some other family.
A case of the devil you know (the life I’m living now) is better than the one you don’t (what happens if mom ends up losing everything and in a care home)?
She could give up all hope or do better if other people are around to keep her company.
What ever the out come I’ll be alone, my security net will be gone (not cash, she’s on welfare), my life as I knew it will be over.
I guess I always needed to know that somewhere in the world I had someone that loved me and I could always go back to, to get my head on straight.
Once that is gone, I got to be completely self sufficient (at least for a little while), and If I mess up again I could end up on the streets.
Well, this went off on something other than energy and motivation, but the point I was trying to make was.. stress, depression add to the lack of motivation and energy I have, for sure, but the goal that needs to be reached is just as much cause for it.
Pull myself out of a rut, work my butt off with no help or support from anyone only to reach a goal I don’t want or need and can’t escape.
At first I couldn’t except it, then I wouldn’t, then I refused to speed it along. Now I find myself 1.5 years later in the same boat I was in a year ago, except I’m an emotional wreck now on auto pilot. not taking care of myself and barely taking care of mom.
So like it or not I have no choice but to get energy and motivation, because I can’t go on like this for very much longer.
I don’t see the point of life anymore. I don’t even have the mental or physical energy to complain. I don’t want to go to bed because that won’t even take away this horrible feeling where my head cant concentrate. I’ve lost feeling and have no emotions. I’ve been failing exams a lot and still no one or nothing anyone can say to me can make me motivated. I just dont seem to care about life anymore - so what if i get to Uni? How dull. Then I would become a teacher stuck in a dead end job. So what? What else? I cant be bothered. Usually i’d revise 9 weeks before important exams but the day before on exam i hardly even revised. I just dont care tbh. Didnt even bother to try hard, just cant be asked. I think I’ve lost feeling because I dont have that healthy panic I get when I work. Its not normal exam stress; i think im under severe depression. My back hurts and feels like it’s arching in, whilst my legs are weak like jelly plus my blood feels like it’s boiling and my heart never stops beating. I’m only 17 and live with lovely parents, and grandparents. I still cant even be happy.
Hi Amarpreet,
Thanks for your story. Have you tried consulting with a psychiatrist for depression?
Also, even if you don’t have any sort of mental illness, it might be a good idea to talk to someone neutral in your life and get some of your frustrations off you chest.
All I can say is…I understand all of these posts. I’m going through one of my depression cycles now. All I really KNOW is, it won’t be this way forever. It does let up eventually. This “boredom” and “I don’t give a **** what happens in my life” feeling is eventually going to be interrupted by SOMETHING. That “something” could be good or bad.
As for medication, screw that. I’ve never heard of that ever curing anybody. It either masks the problems or makes things worse because you rely on it.
I just wait it out. I believe I deserve to be alive and I deserve to enjoy my life. Maybe right now I can’t enjoy it and I hate it, but it’s temporary. Something’s gonna come along and wake me up.
The only thing that really sucks right now is…trying to pretend to be happy or okay. I get really exhausted pretending to care about ****. But if you wanna make a buck and not be homeless, you have to atleast pretend to care.
Sometimes, I look around at people and wonder if they’re pretending, too. Like we’re all just a bunch of really good actors.
You’re all more than welcome to email me if you wanna talk.
I am currently going through a Stress and depression class at my community college. They teach you how to use natural ways like meditation to deal with your problems. I have been on drugs to help with my feeling of “who gives a fk id rather not do anything” and the meds helped a little but not much at all since I have been taking this class and learning new ways of looking at life and other practices I feel way better. Check one out it is worth you time.
It is so nice that there is this website so we can talk to each other! I am also feeling like the rest of you and it brings me comfort to know that I am not alone. We all have each other and that is alot. We will all get thru this together! All we can do is take small steps everyday and it maybe just to brush our teeth or wash our hair but if it is something we didn’t do the day before then we are improving ourselves one step at a time. We don’t need to do what others do, we only need to do what makes US happy or feel better. If you are dieting and you want a glass of pop, go ahead, it’s not failure it’s happiness. Failure is if you drink a whole case. Enjoy the little things. If you have no energy to exercise then just lift your legs one at a time while watching tv 10 times on each leg and be happy with that because it was something you didn’t do the day before! Little steps is all we need to take. Think of it this way, if there is a flight of stairs that you have to go up it does’nt matter if you take one at a time or 3 at a time you will still get to the top!! We are all very loving and caring people and we are givers and that is why we are all here to tell each other how we feel and that tells us alot about what good people we are and there is alot to said about the kind of compassion we have for each other and that in itself is something to feel good about! Love you all for your honesty and hope the best for you all. We will overcome this!
Wow, so many great suggestions. I agree with the exercise and water, but still don’t do it. I feel the same way many of you do. Bored and I want to sleep all the time. I am on antidepressants, thanks to modern medicine. I have many reasons to be happy. I live in paradise, have a good paying job, but it is boring. I think computers are sucking the life out of us. The only time I am happy is when others need me. Then I jump up and go to it. It really helps to know that others feel the same. Hang in there everyone.
Hi everyone new here ,im so glad not on my own, ive got no motovation although ive changed my eating habits ,still wana go to sleep al the time telling myself tomorrow gonna be a different day !!! how the weeks n mothns pass still saying it !!!! ive had one or 2 days where i felt absolutly great !!! had energyu etc dont now y but then went again AHHHHH !!!! i no exercise would help yep do it tomoorow AHHHH dont do it , sounds strange its like sun it in u brain is teasing u ! hope this makes sence, Karen
I can relate with many of you! I’m a kick arse make alot of money and then coast kinda guy and it has bothered me, if not, plagued me all my life. I never could work at a steady pace it was either to the floor on, or off. I have recently entertained thoughts of just unplugging my computer and throwing it in the TRASH!!! If I could use it in moderation I would be much better off and much more productive but it has become a pacifier that I veg out in front of for hours, AND WHY??? Where has ALL my motivation gone or is this normal in your late forties?